Running in Circles 🌀

Clarity demands courage. And courage, often, is in short supply.

We go around the bush not because it’s fun; in fact, it’s the opposite.

“What does your week ahead look like?” is probably a subtle way of saying, “I’d like to meet you and have an honest talk.” But the latter seems too direct or sometimes desperate in our heads, so we avoid it.

“I don’t feel safe going alone in an Uber; I feel better when I am surrounded by more travellers” is probably someone’s way of saying “I can’t afford it, so I’m going to have to take public transport.”

There’s a lot we wish we could say more openly, more clearly. But in most cases, holding back seems like the best option.

Why? Because our culture rewards indirect communication. We’ve built a system that makes straightforward people feel pushy and direct requests feel impolite.

The person circling the bush is deeply uncomfortable. They’ve taken so many laps they’ve forgotten there was ever a straight path. The roundabout way has become their default.

It’s true that we would like to sit down for 2.5 hours to know what happens to the story of the girl from LA and the guy from Notting Hill, London, instead of reaching the end in 30 minutes.

But when we make every conversation, every meeting, every deal 2.5 hours long, we are going to get restless and will eventually forget why we started in the first place.

Even this piece you’re reading, see how it circles its own point? We’re so hardwired to avoid direct statements, to soften our words, to make each thought less pointed.

The irony.

We’re surrounded by people who can’t ask for what they want. Who might not even know what they want. Who speak in circles because straight lines feel too dangerous.

It’s tempting to rush them. To push them toward clarity. But what they need isn’t your frustration or your hurry - they need space to find their own way to truth.

Let them finish their circles. Be patient as they make their rounds. Because that patience, that quiet listening - that’s what creates the safety they need to finally speak straight.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is walk the long way with someone until they’re ready for the shortcut.